Back to School

So today was my first day of the Fall semester. My first semester system, my first Fall first day in over five years (without a uniform anyways). I had to work at my Copyright Permissions job first thing in the morning. I got to work, ran my errands like my supervisor asked me to on Friday, got back to the office and set about taking care of things. Supervisor finally showed up to work, gave me a couple things to do BACK over at the places I had already been to. I said fine, got up to go, and he immediately told me to wait so we could brainstorm what else I might need to do while out. I had no input, I am still new at that job (relatively). He kept asking me, "What else? What else?" I kept saying, "I don't know." He just wouldn't accept my "I don't know," and took it for insolence. He told me to get out my notepad and take notes. I grimly set about writing down the two things he told me to do, he asked me not to get "put out" over taking notes. Is he the most sensitive and ridiculous man ever? Or is it just me? By the time I returned, I knew what I had to do. He wasn't in the office and I was about to go to class, so I wrote a detailed note reviewing what I did and what I found out. I finished it with, "I am going to take work elsewhere, I will finish this work week if you need me to. Please start looking for a new assistant." DOUCHEBAG! If that had been the only time that sort of frustration occurred, I wouldn't have jumped to such drastic measures. But this has become common. I dread going to work, I loathe sharing the office with him. I talked about this with my therapist, she told me that this job is causing me some acute anxiety. She didn't tell me to quit, but I got the message. The benefits do not outweigh the pain. Other way around.

The rest of my day was great though! I had my first class of Beginning Swimming - the instructor seems great, and the class is quite diverse. I think it might actually be fun! I feel I'm at the age where I just don't care about the gym class anxieties any more. Walking around in a swimsuit, around college-aged girls just out of high school with skinny thighs and tan skin? I don't care. I'll shake my jiggly thighs, white legs, freckly bits and get a 4.0 in that class. Suck it monkeys!

My Museum Studies class should be interesting, but I think its going to be more of an independant studies situation than anything! He encourages maximum amounts of individual research towards ones own area of interest. He doesn't have a single textbook or coursepack to order, yet I bought every book he had listed on reserve in the library. I hope this goes well, because I just spent $300 on textbooks that aren't required! :)

So it goes.

Saturday Night

Today's date went well. It was pleasant, diverting, and I think I may have turned the corner on my feelings for this man. Before I was completely unsure, no solid feelings whatsoever. Today I saw and heard a few things that made me begin to soften. Towards the end of the day I was growing weary however, and did desire nothing more than to go home. I still don't know what that means. I did tell him, before leaving his car, that I liked him, but needed to take a lot of time, to take things slowly. He took it very sweetly, very nicely. He is growing on me. We'll see.

I thought I had more to post. I can't remember anything now. The codeine is making my brain fuzzy. One more morning to sleep in before school starts on Monday! Best get my rest...

Saturday Morning

So far I've not been able to dig myself out of my funk. I had a really good meeting with my therapist yesterday, she really helped me to see what has been causing stress in my life (Everything!), and how to better deal with it.

I think I'm starting my Saturday off well. I slept like a baby, woke up at 8:30 refreshed. I layed in bed for a while, tooling on the internet. Then I got my stationary and set about writing thank you cards to my considerate well wishers. After finishing my letters, my belly began to grumble so I got up and made the best breakfast ever. It is sitting (eaten) on my breakfast tray beside me in bed. What was on it? A french press full of steaming hot coffee. Two slices of whole grain toast, very crispy. One local peach (picked yesterday), sliced into quarters. A small bowl of Greek yogurt, drizzled with honey. All ate leisurly, while playing Scrabble on Facebook and watching 'Lost'.

I have a third date with Lyndon today. I really, honestly don't know how I feel about him. I didn't really want to even go on a third date, but when he proposed we go to the zoo today, well, I couldn't resist! It sounded fun! I figure anyone who asks a girl to go to the zoo for a third date can't be all bad. So he gets another opportunity.

School starts Monday. This is excellent, I'm ready.

I want to quit my library job, I cannot tolerate my boss any longer. He is a doormat, who readily accepts responsibility for everything that goes wrong, whether its his fault or not. He does more than he should, and not in a good way. He takes all this fault and responsibility and anxiety, and floods it onto me. He is a terrible leader and a ridiculous man. This job has become toxic, and now that the busy time is over, leading up to the beginning of the school year, I think its time for me to flip him the bird and get on with my life.

I will start going to the gym once school starts and I have access to the school's gym. I like it there, and additionally I'll be taking a Beginning Swimming class that I hope will be a help to me. I really want to be more comfortable in the water and able to swim laps for exercise! I also want to find out about free classes offered there, aerobics, pilates, etc.

I haven't done laundry for almost two weeks. That is disgusting. During August in Kentucky, one must do laundry every other day it seems, clothes get so sweaty and gross! Plus with dogsitting, all my clothes get covered in dog hair and dander! Extra gross! What's wrong with me?? I don't even want to talk about how long it has been since I cleaned my apartment. I MUST commit to cleaning this place up this weekend before school starts. I will have no chance of cleaning it during the semester!

mil besos.

Friday Night

A crude intro to what I hope becomes a somewhat effusive and rich blog. I don't and won't always write in proper paragraph form. This journal is going to be like a sketchbook, with incomplete thoughts, random observations, and rambles that foray into rants.

School starts soon. I just turned 29. I am discovering the richness and bounty of farms in the late summer. My therapist pointed out today that every aspect of my life is causing me considerable stress. Work, health, relationships, money, school, I think there was more but you get the point. I won't go into details but I think that this forum is birthing at a pivotal point of my life.

I'm going on a date tomorrow to the local zoo, which I've never been to before.

Today I saw my ex at school - I caught a 2 second glimpse and ran the opposite direction. Now I know how I'll react when confronted with that piece of shit.

I'm too tired to write anything more cohesive, interesting, or valuable. There is hope for the future though.